The night of the premiere, Variety will prepare papers with two headlines. One will say “NBC’S ‘SMASH’ IS ANYTHING BUT” and the other will say “NBC FINDS ITS NEXT ‘SMASH’” It will be very “Dewey Defeats Truman”
And my BIGGEST concern is how it will affect my one-man-show.
I love living alone. I do. Nothing makes me happier than leaving the sink full of dishes, wearing my cat on my head because she hates it, and being able to have 95% of the DVR be reruns of Storage Wars.
But this is the year when I stop fucking around. I’m fairly confident that if I power through and give 100%, I have the talent and connections to end 2012 without being stuck behind a desk at a day job. And without a stable salary and benefits, it would probably be super wise to get in on this opportunity to live with a pretty cool dude and save $200 a month on rent.
Guys. I’ve been broke for the past year. Ordering water at bars and driving my car on E more than 50% of the time. I’ve gotten by, and I could continue to get by, but “getting by” is getting tiresome. The luxury of living alone in a nice neighborhood was nice while it lasted, but something’s gotta give. That said, I’m real excited to be able to pay bills on time! And not always order the cheapest thing on the menu at every restaurant! FUCK YOU GRILLED CHEESE AT CAFE 101.
Plus the extra space my cat will have in a new apartment is reason enough!
As for the one man show, fear not. 23 Roommates will not be altered in any way.
By “This Was 2011” I mean these are the first sentences from my first tumblr post of each month.
JANUARY 2011 - “Security in Los Angeles saw my dick.”
FEBRUARY 2011 - “That awful new eye doctor that yelled at me, took 2 1/2 hours for an exam, and at one point REMOVED MY CONTACTS FROM MY EYES WITH HIS OWN HANDS (which I’ve literally had nightmares about) sent me a thank you card with business cards inside.”
MARCH 2011 - “holler”
APRIL 2011 - “People seem surprised the new Katy Perry video sucks. Like the Candyland titty party was Thriller or something.”
MAY 2011 - “Or hey, if you guys wanted me to play a poolside detective…I could do that too.”
JUNE 2011 - “Don’t let my facial expression fool you, I had a GREAT weekend!”