Hey fellow writers...
I want to start a tumblr or twitter or something where people post the stupidest things they’ve done when they should have been writing. For instance I have a draft that I need done by tonight, so obviously I spent the past hour reading up on every detail of the Amanda Knox trial.
iangary: Just watched “Crash” for the first time, and learned something…All things in the universe are connected…By the unyielding force of over the top racism.
Just used a couple of gift cards at Amazon and the purchase sums me up as a person completely. The Jerk SNL’s Best of Steve Martin Museum Companion to Los Angeles a book about improv The Art of War
One reason we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind the scenes to...– Steven Furtick (via jesssica) Holy shit. (via glamsoda)
I have a post-it with two bullet points on it. *Skirt steak *Guy keeps going Can’t remember what the fuck I wrote these down for, so I guess none of my upcoming projects will end up with a skirt steak or a guy who keeps going.
Hey! See me do comedies!
SECOND CITY LATE NIGHT (w/ Kay Cannon, Pete Holmes, and Tremedosaur) @ Second City Hollywood - Friday, June 24th at 10pm STAPLER (Improv w/ Allen Loeb, Nate Clark, Ben Siemon, Drew Tarver, Eileen Mullane, Jennie Pierson, and Tom Blank) @ UCB - Friday, June 24th at 11pm MUSICAL IMPROV SHOW @ UCB - Saturday, June 25th at 5:30pm SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SPOILERS REVEALED! (UCB brings you this...
Los Angeles. It’s always been more of a state of mind than a city. For...– ACTUAL V.O. FROM A DOCUMENTARY ON A&E WHO IS WRITING THIS STUFF
I’m fascinated by people who don’t poop in public. Who can just hold it EVERY TIME and never ever have to use public restrooms.
christinahaberkern: My roommate informed me that on September 1st she’ll be moving back to Chicago. I now gave to figure out do I keep the great apartment and try to find a new roommate, or get a crappy small studio with the very small budget I have. If anyone knows someone looking for a roommate in the NoHo art district for September, let me know. We have a 2br/2bth by the park. No pets. ...
Thanks Jeanne. From now on, when we look up at the stars, we’ll wonder how...– The Soup had clips of Quacker Factory in pretty much every episode, but they kept it classy in their tribute to Jeanne Bice.
Stop Naming People "Jenkins"
improvnonsense: It stands out. Thank you.
Happy Father's Day
Dear Dad, Thanks for forcing me to do yard work and clean up after myself and all of that other crap that really made you loathe you for a good 50% of my formative years. Now that I am an adult, I look around and everywhere I go I see other adults who did not have fathers that taught them how to properly look after themselves and get shit done. Back then I thought you were being a lazy dick who...
HEY NEW YORK! August 12-14 HEY DETROIT! August 15-21 HEY CHICAGO! I’ll try!
billymerritt: Sometimes a good cry is all you need. This brings me so much joy.
'Educated' Snob Berates Train Conductor for No... →
Whenever I see a video of people making asses of themselves in public, I pledge to post them and do my part to bring those people the humiliation they so very much deserve. Nobody WANTS to work in customer service, you guys. Show them some fucking respect. (Thanks to Marlene for sending me this!)
Well, first and foremost, welcome to the office! It’s going to be great having you around. For one thing, I can pawn remedial and tedious tasks off on you (haha! JK It’s a learning experience! It’s all a learning experience!) Seriously, though. Your positive attitude and bright outlook on the future is inspiring, which is why I have gone ahead and jotted down some guideposts...
Can you commit to choosing your family over tartar sauce.– IS THIS REAL?!?
You have to look because you have to know what tartar sauce is doing to you.– Freaky Eaters
Mysti is literally drowning her life in tartar sauce.– I love this show
Are you aware there is a show on television called Freaky Eaters? This episode was called “Addicted To Cheesy Potatoes” YOU GUYS.
Who is your favorite Parking Wars employee? Part of me says Marlene in ticketing if you’re just going for pure brass. But Yolanda at the impound lot’s ability to stand firm yet maintain a level cool is always enjoyable. Overall though I’d say Sherry and Garfield in booting. What a team. On the Detroit side, I gotta go with Norman not only for his positive attitude, but for the...
Things that get said at writer's meetings
“I’m going to interrupt you right now and say that I am using the word “watercraft” and you CAN’T stop me.” “Just a name that a wild crazy person would have. Like Sassy. Or Courtney.” “Watch a few episodes of Teen Titans. I don’t think it will help you, but it’s good to be aware.”