“I just wish I could start a relationship about twelve years in, when you really don’t have to try anymore, and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows, and then go to bed without anybody trying any funny business.”—Liz Lemon
I’m so fucking wound up these days. You’d think writing and running would be two great ways to blow off some steam but somewhere along the lines those became major contributers to the problem as a whole.
I want to like…go somewhere where you break glass on people.
She rarely uses Facebook. She does not update statuses or change her profile picture. Her newsfeed is fairly stagnant. She comments on someone’s photo here. Somebody posts on her wall there.
It’s just…I don’t get it. How is she living life? And how is she not more active on facebook. This is no longer a college dormroom obsession that you grow out of. It’s a way of life. I communicate with my dentist on facebook. Sign the fuck back on so I can stalk you, damn it.
I need to know things. I mean the guy she started dating after me dressed up as a priest with a boner for Halloween and I think she works for Sears corporate in a suburb of Chicago. But is she miserable? And how miserable? I need fact. Not speculation.
Somehow I manage to have the worst luck when it comes to finding healthcare in this town. Is it LA? Are a majority of the medical professionals in LA fucking LUNATICS?
Most recently I went to the dentist who referred me to a plastic surgeon for cosmetic rhinoplasty. I went to his Yelp! page and the image that comes up is the injury sustained by the ex-girlfriend he was found guilty of assaulting with a weapon.
Before this guy I also had a super shitty dentist in Studio City who waited until he gave me about 5 shots of Novocaine to tell me that my copay was $160 and not $20.
And last year when I was training for San Diego, and I was feeling light-headed all the time, I made an appointment to see another doctor. He sounded weird on the phone so I changed my mind and decided not to go. Good call on my part. Because this was the doctor…
Here’s another one for fans of irony.
I was steps away from going to Anna Nicole’s personal drug lord for healthcare.
“How lucky can I be to have two such passions. Show business and animals. Actually…I may have more than two passions. But that’s none of your business!”—Betty White accepting her Lifetime Achievement Award.
LA Improv Relief Week is from Sun Jan 24th – Sun Jan 31st . The Groundlings, Second City, IO West, and UCB are all doing various things throughout the week to raise funds to help with the devastating situation in Haiti. Aside from taking cash donations all week The Groundlings will be doing a whole special lineup of shows on Thursday night where all proceeds will go to UNICEF. That’s all the info I have so far. Keep an eye out for more.
the average game broadcast shows 11 minutes of actual gameplay and 67 minutes of people standing around.
"In other words, if you tally up everything that happens between the time the ball is snapped and the play is whistled dead by the officials, there’s barely enough time to prepare a hard-boiled egg. In fact, the average telecast devotes 56% more time to showing replays."