“Paper Planes” is playing in the lobby so you bet I’m opening the cash drawer in rhythm with the chorus.
HUH? Whaaaa? That has nothing to do with Barack Obama, classic paintings, OR...– Reaction of most Tumblr users after I posted a reference to Kelly Clarkson.
When I am 50, Lord please grant me the strength to not wear fitted Ed Hardy t-shirts and moccasins.
Twigger and I were discussing that some Flintstones vitamins sound like the street names for illicit drugs. For instance, I just took some Purple Betty.
My First Customer!
I got paid to write my first poem. Keith, a guy from my roommate’s touch football team, requested a poem “tearing Mike a new one.” While I’d like to say the words flowed freely from pen to paper, that’s not true this time. Keith also requested that the entire thing be written in iambic pentameter. And so it is. ——— Before we start this game of...
I'm Not Popular, Am I?
I switched to MyFaves on T-Mobile. We have a love/hate relationship and I find myself switching my plan back and forth every six months or so. Needless to say, MyFaves and I are definitely “on again.” Problem is…I don’t have 5 Faves. When you look at my phone bill, a vast majority of my minutes are spent talking to my Mom, Ashley Marshall, and my Grandma. I only have 3...
Pardon me. I'm still in shock.
You see, I went to the passport office. There was no line, so I walked right up to the counter. I gave the woman my materials. She smiled and was very helpful. We had a small conversation as she processed everything and rang me up. I was out in less than five minutes. JUST LIKE THAT?!? I was not prepared for such convenience. I kept expecting some sort roadblock to appear, like the radius...
Now I just sit back and wait for the money to roll... →
I’m not terribly religious. But I like to do Lent. This year, I am giving up non-productive internet. I can job search and check email, but other than that I will only give myself one hour per day (at most) to blog, facebook, tweet, etc. Giving it up completely would be more than futile, but cramming all of those useless AIM conversations and Lost spoilers into 60 minutes seems challenging...
Nurse: Try to fill it half way. If you can't do that much we won't be pissed off.
Steve: Pun intended?
Nurse: What? No.
Today at the doctor’s office, I tried to read my book but kept getting distracted by the receptionist talking about dildos with another woman in the waiting room. You could tell she was pretending to be discreet, but didn’t really want to.
2009 "Buzz Word" I'm Already SICK OF
“Bailout.” As heard in commercials for Denny’s, Trader Joe’s, and 102.7 KIIS FM. “And at only $2.99 for an eight ounce package, you won’t need a bailout to enjoy our premium smoked gouda.”
Can someone find me those Hulu commercials? The ones where Alec Baldwin and Eliza Dushku are aliens? I think they are fantastic. Are there any other ones I haven’t seen yet? Such a great ad campaign.
Being around so many industry people tonight certainly reaffirmed my desire to sell pool supplies for a living.
You can follow me. I thought it would be a nice thing to do so my family back home can keep tabs on me. Meaning my Twitter will be suitable for all ages. No talking about shoving a wet pussy full of big black throbbing cock and sucking off your neighbors cat while it paws at your titties. http://www.twitter.com/smszlaga
I wondered what the Octomom looked like when she was pregnant. I mean, having eight of ANYTHING inside you just can’t be pretty. I found the picture. I am not posting it here. It is horrifying. I want to cry.
I'm going to go for a run
That’s something I haven’t done in over a month because I was either working too much or not eating enough due to stress. Now I’m back to unemployed with a belly full of Raisin Bran. Off we gooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I’m NOT watching the Oscars. Not a second of them! Who’s with me?
It would have been nice if at some point in art school, someone sat me down and said “Oh, by the way, getting a job in your field of study will more than likely result in you having to sacrifice most, if not all, of your creative drive.” If I am bound by the mutual exlusivity of these two concepts, I choose self-fulfillment.
My wrist hurts. It feels like I sprained it or injured it in some way, but I haven’t. Diagnose me.
I wish I had psoriasis or uterine fibroids. You can get paid a LOT to have that shit studied.
I’m going to watch Dollhouse right now, although my recent discovery that Joss Whedon absolutely HATES it does not make me all that excited.
This is the moment. Right now. 2am. Sober. Friday night. The space heater is on. It’s cold. This right here. This is me deciding…not just considering…not “toying with the idea, but OFFICIALLY concluding that I am leaving LA. As soon as possible. Desire to work in the industry? None. Feelings towards California in general? Ill. I’ve met some really incredible...
I’m 90% sure I am going to have a nervous breakdown in the near future. I kind of don’t mind because I think it will get me out of work.
All I can think about is Chris Brown beating up Rihanna. I find the whole thing thrilling in the most horrific way. What would really push this story over the top is if he beat her with an umbrella. Chris Brown should be put behind bars for what he did. (I’m referring to the Double Mint song, of course)
My car doesn’t have a cassette player or an AUX jack, so I can’t listen to my iPod in it. I do have a 6-CD player, so I’ve decided to just burn a bunch of discs. Beats that piece of shit iTrip. Also, this may be the first mix in history that features Kasabian and Katy Perry back to back.
Chapter 12: A Whole Whirl of Trouble
The greatest incentive from doing the Disney College Program (this is the last time I will mention it, I swear) is not meeting people from all over the world. Nor is it taking a semester off to live in Orlando. It is also not being a pasty white dude from Michigan and finally finding yourself with a fine-ass tan. The greatest incentive, by far, is putting Disney on your resume. It pretty much...
Watching 30 Rock and cleaning my room all morning, then off to the Groundlings box office where I will write, catch up on my TV shows and sell tickets all afternoon. I love Saturdays.
"The Courage of Detroit" by Mitch Albom →
Fantastic article in Sports Illustrated. “Enough. We’re not gum on the bottom of America’s shoe. We’re not grime to be wiped off with a towel. Detroit and Michigan are part of the backbone of this country, the manufacturing spine, the heart of the middle class — heck, we invented the middle class, we invented the idea that a factory worker can put in 40 hours a week...
Hey, ever go to the DMV, pass your written test, get your driver’s license renewed, and then almost hit a parked car on the way out because you shifted into drive instead of reverse?
I am directly facing the window. Right in front of me are two older women eating scones and trying to figure out how to configure a new cell phone. I can’t hear a word they are saying, so I am making it up. Toni, the brunette smoking a Virginia Slim is showing Bianca, who is eating cappucino foam with a spoon, the latest LA Weekly, which features her son, a local rock musician, on the cover....
christinahaberkern: atencio: Does anyone have access to Final Draft for mac? I tried to transfer my copy to my laptop from my work computer and it’s not working, and I have something due tomorrow. Don’t care about the version, I just need a working copy so I can write tonight at home. email me email@example.com Help a brother out. I only suggest this in a case of extreme emergency, but...
Sitting at Peet’s working on my script. I don’t need a Super Bowl. My football team already made history this season, and that full season of consecutive losses will be remembered for much longer than whoever wins today. Viva Motown!